Christmas Mixture of Music
by AnimeLuver4everandevr
Summary: Welcome to Christmas songs for December!All the BLEACH characters are going to sing!T because I feel like it,
1. First Act

**I disown everything and the songs.**

* * *

Me: Hello everyone! Now with my mixture of music on the line and me typing a bunch of others fanfictions I decided since its December, there will be Christmas Tunes!

Toushiro: Oh god... we already got tortured by C. Queen...

Me: So?

Ichigo: We can kill you.

Me: … Meanies. Anyway! Everyone call me Hitsuki-chan because I don't feel like typing my full name.

Nemu: What song are you thinking first?

Hitsuki-chan: I was thinking 12 days of Christmas but let me tell you all about someone's b-day thats coming up. Well two people's... Someone's already past.

Momo: Who's?

Hitsuki-chan: Isshin's was the 10th, Toushiro's is in 7 days aka the 20th and Ukitake's is after that aka the 21st.

Shunsei: How do you know this stuff?

Nemu: Because in her world, there's these things called 'otaku's' and they search up anything about their favorite anime's. Also, they have this thing called the 'internet' and they can type up anything about ther favorite anime's. We are part of a anime. We are called BLEACH for some unknown reason. Plus, Hitsuki-san can type faster with music than anyone.

Hitsuki-chan: Nicely described Nemu-chan!

Momo: So if we're part of a anime, anybody can see us?

Nemu: Yes and including a lot of people, they 'cosplay' as us. Simply put, everyone loves dressing up as Captain Hitsugaya more than anyone else. There's so many pictures, you can make a book.

Toushiro: Thats stupid.

Hitsuki-chan: Now I know who's going first. -hits a button and Momo and Toushiro appear on stage. Momo in a sexy red dress with fuzz on on the top and bottom. Toushiro is in white suit- Now they'll sing, Jingle Bell Rock!

[ Toushiro's in **bold **Momo's regular both underlined ]

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock  
Jingle Bells swing and Jingle Bells ring  
Snowing, and blowing up bushels of fun  
Now the Jingle hop has begun

**Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock  
Jingle Bells chime in Jingle Bell time  
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square  
In the frosty air**

What a bright time, it's the right time  
To rock the night away  
Jingle Bell time is a swell time  
To go riding in a one-horse sleigh

**Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet  
Jingle around the clock  
Mix and a mingle to a jinglin' beat  
That's the Jingle Bell rock**

(Jing rock, jing rock, yeah**,** jing rock, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock, jing rock)

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock  
Jingle Bells chime in Jingle Bell time  
Dancing and prancing in Jingle Bell Square  
In the frosty air

**What a bright time, it's the right time  
To rock the night away  
Jingle Bell time is a swell time  
To go riding in a one-horse sleigh**

Giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet  
Jingle around the clock  
Mix and a mingle to a jinglin' beat  
That's the Jingle Bell, That's the Jingle Bell, That's the Jingle Bell, That's the Jingle Bell rock

The jingle bell rock  
That's the jingle bell rock (Yeah)  
Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays  
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

How's that for a Christmas song?

[pushed Button and their back in their seats]

Toushiro: That was humilating

Momo: I loved it!

Ukitake: I thought it was cute!

Hitsuki-chan: I thought it was adorable! They so belong together!

Ichigo: I say... this is stupid.

All Guys: Big Time!

Hitsuki-chan: I say Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia sing their version of Mr. Grinch...

Rukia: I agree!

Matsumoto: Whats the Grinch?

Nemu: A Children's Movie of 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. He's mean, cruel, and hates Christmas. Lets just say he's like Aizen but the Grinch turns out to be nice while Aizen will not.

Hitsuki-chan: Well said.

Yachiru: Oooo~

Hitsuki-chan: -pushes a button and Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia are on stage. Rukia in her execution costume, Renji and Ichigo in beat up and ripped soul reaper clothing.- Now their version of The Grinch!

[ Ichigo is **bold **Renji _Italic _Rukia is regular both is underlined ]

_You're a evil one, Mr. Aizen Sosuke  
You really are a heel,  
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,  
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!_

You're a monster, Mr. Sosuke,  
Your heart's a dark hole,  
Your brain is full of evil plans, you have the devil in your soul, Mr. Sosuke,  
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot stick!

**You're a foul one, Mr. Aizen,  
You have meaness in your smile,  
You have all the sweetness of a espada, Mr. Aizen,  
Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the espada!**

You're a rotter, Mr. Sosuke,  
You're the king of sins,  
Your heart's a dead frog splotched with stank, Mr. Sosuke,  
You're a hairy espada with bugs crawling over you!  
You nauseate me, Mr. Sosuke,  
With a nauseous super "naus"!,  
**You're a crooked dirty king and you drive a crooked chair, Mr. Sosuke,  
Your soul is a Mixed Up Mess And A Mixed Up  
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!**

You're a foul one, Mr. Sosuke,  
You're a nasty wasty skunk,  
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Sosuke,  
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,  
"Stink, stank, stunk"!

[ Button Is Pushed and they are returned to their seats ]

Hisuki-chan: Now that wasn't so bad was it?

Ichigo: No... not really.

Aizen: Your just mean.

Toushiro: No, we just don't like you.

Aizen: Because I sent your little girlfriend into a coma...

Eeryone: Oooooooo

Momo: Aizen! Shut the F*ck up!

Everyone: Burrrrrn!

Hitsuki-chan: I say this is getting out of hand...

Ukitake/Shunsei: We agree!

Unohana: How about another song? -smiles-

Momo: Which now? -looks at me-

Hitsuki-chan: I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Kiyone and Isane! Their version!

Everyone besides Nemu: Huh?

Nemu: I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus is supposed to be about a little boy seeing his mom kiss his dad in a Santa suit underneath the mistletoe. Though he tried everything to get rid of the Santa and also tell his dad but his dad didn't believe him. It was a show on the Disney Channel last year.

Hitsuki: Well said and now -pushed a button and Isane and Kiyone appear on stage. Ukitake and Unohana re in the back, Ukitake in a Santa suit. Isane and Kiyone were in pajama's for little kids.- Now for this song!

[ Isane's is **bold **Kiyone's is regular both is underlined ]

We saw Unohana kissing Ukitake  
Underneath the mistletoe last night  
**She didn't see me creep**  
**down the hall to have a peep;**  
She thought that I was tucked  
up in my bedroom fast asleep

Then  
We saw Unohana tickle Ukitake  
Underneath his beard so snowy white;  
Oh what a laugh it would have been  
**If Hitsugaya had only seen  
**Unohana kissing Ukitake last night 

[Button and those four return to their seats]

Hitsuki-chan: Well that was just lovely!

Ukitake: No it wasn't!

Hitsuki-chan: I was being sarcastic!

Nemu: So what song next Hitsuki-san?

Momo: I say no more until Shiro-chan's birthday!

Toushiro: Its Captain Hitsugaya!

Ichigo: Do you ever get tired of saying that?

Toushiro: Do you get tired of hearing it?

Ichigo: Tou-

Renji: No.

Ichigo: But-

Renji: No.

Ichigo: -whispers- Touche

Hitsuki-chan: How about to end this, we have everyone sing Jingle Bells!

Everyone: No!

Nemu: Jingle Bells is a very nice but everyone says no...

Hitsuki-chan: Too bad! Or else I'll make everyone sing Renji the Red Headed Pineapple!

Soi Fon: No we'll sing! We'll sing!

Hitsuki-chan: Good! -presses a button and all captains, vice captains, and 3rd seats, and Hanataro, Rukia, and Ichigo are up there. Girls in same outftit as Momo with first song and Boys are in all red. Everyone has jingle bells-

[ Captains **bold **Vice Captains _Italics _Rveryone else regular Everyone underlined ]

_Dashing through the snow  
On a one-horse open sleigh  
Over the fields we go  
Laughing all the way;_  
**Bells on bob-tail ring  
making spirits bright  
What fun it is to ride and sing  
A sleighing song tonight**  
Jingle bells  
jingle bells  
jingle all the way!  
O what fun it is to ride  
In a one-horse open sleigh

_A day or two ago  
I thought I'd take a ride_  
**And soon Miss Fanny Bright  
Was seated by my side;**  
_The horse was lean and lank;  
Misfortune seemed his lot;_  
**He got into a drifted bank  
And we  
we got upsot**  
Jingle Bells  
Jingle Bells  
Jingle all the way!  
What fun it is to ride  
In a one-horse open sleigh

A day or two ago  
the story I must tell  
I went out on the snow  
And on my back I fell;  
**A gent was riding by  
In a one-horse open sleigh**  
_He laughed as there  
I sprawling lie  
But quickly drove away_  
Jingle Bells  
Jingle Bells  
Jingle all the way!  
What fun it is to ride  
In a one-horse open sleigh

**Now the ground is white**  
_Go it while you're young_  
Take the girls tonight  
**And sing this sleighing song;**  
_Just get a bob-tailed bay_  
two-forty as his speed  
**Hitch him to an open sleigh**  
_And crack! you'll take the lead_  
Jingle Bells  
Jingle Bell!  
Jingle all the way!  
What fun it is to ride  
In a one-horse open sleigh.

[ Button Press and Everyone is Back in their seats ]

Hanataro: That was so weird.

Kiyone: Agreed but Fun!

Momo: That wasn't even humilating.

Isane: Have to agree on that.

Hitsuki-chan: Now now. Please don't fight if you hate me for that song.

Captains: Oh we don't hate you, we despice you!

Hitsuki: -nervous laugh- Well now, this ends the first act as they would say. People review and bye bye!

[ Curtain Falls Down! ]


	2. Second Act

**I disown everything in this fanfic!**

* * *

[ Curtain Rises ]

Hitsuki-chan: I'm back!~

Ichigo Terrifically Terrifying.

Toushiro: Hate to agree with Kurosaki, but he's got a point.

Renji: Big time.

Hitsuki-chan: You guys are cruel... Well, how do you like this Toushiro, I've been reading MATURE fanfictions about you and Momo, you and Ichigo, you and Renji, you and Gin, and you and Ukitake. So ha!

Ukitake: What are you getting at?

Toushiro: Not my fault that you had to make me be embarrassed in front of people who respect me!

Hitsuki-chan: Don't be such a baby. You were with Momo the whole time!

Momo: Oh... kay... whats going on?

Hitsuki-chan: -sigh- Nothing Momo-chan.

Renji: So... EVERYONE RUN!

[ All Get Caught In A Giant Rope ]

Hitsuki-chan: Never underestimate me... Just for that, Renji, Ichigo, and Toushiro, you guys are up.

Toushiro/Ichigo: Why are we dragged into this!?

Hitsuki-chan: Because I bet it was all Toushiro's plan. Him being really smart at all, fricken child prodigee. Then Ichigo drew it out and Renji thought it was a great idea!

Toushiro: But that doesnt make any sense!

Hitsuki-chan: It does to Shiro Neko.

Toushiro: -angry- Shiro Neko?

Renji/Ikkaku: -laughing- Hahahahahahahahahaha- Shiro Neko!- hahahahahahahaha- Hilarous!

Hitsuki-chan/Toushiro: URUSAI!

Hitsuki-chan: -presses a button and Renji, Ichigo, and Toushiro are on stage. Renji in a reindeer outfit, Ichigo in a suit, and Toushiro in a snowman suit- Now Renji the Red Haired Pineapple!

[ Ichigo in **bold **Toushiro regular both underlined ]

**You know Ukitake and Shunsei and Unohana and Rukia**

Momo and Kira Hisagi and Kusaka

But do you recall?

The most famous shinigami of all?

-I play bells-

**Renji The Red Haired Pineapple**

Had a Very Pienppale-y Head

**And if you ever saw it**

You always have to laugh!

-I laugh-

All of the other Shinigami,

Used Laugh and Make Fun of Him

**They never let Poor Renji**

JOIN IN ANY SHINIGAMI SPARS!

**Then one Snowy Christmas Eve,**

The Soutaicho came to say

RENJI WITH YOUR HAIR SO WEIRD,

WON'T YOU LEAD MY SLEIGH TONIGHT?

**AND ALL OF THE SHINIGAMI LOVED HIM**

And they shouted out with Glee!

Renji the Red-Haired Pinapple

You'll go down in History!

[ Button pushed and their back to their seats ]

Toushiro: That was humilating.

Ichigo: I second that.

Hitsuki-chan: Do you want a better song?

Everyone: Yes!

Hitsuki-chan: Well your not getting it.

Everyone: Damn it!

Hitsuki-chan: Rukia-chan will sing Santa Baby!

[ button gets pressed and Rukia is on stage in a sexy red Ms. Claus Dress ]

Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree,  
For me.  
been an awful good girl,  
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,  
Light blue.  
I'll wait up for you dear,  
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I've missed,  
Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,  
Next year I could be just as good,  
If you'll check off my Christmas list,

Santa baby, I wanna yacht,  
And really that's not a lot,  
Been an angel all year,  
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, there's one thing I really do need,  
The deed  
To a platinum mine,  
Santa honey, so hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, and fill my stocking with a duplex,  
And checks.  
Sign your 'X' on the line,  
Santa cutie, and hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,  
With some decorations bought at Tiffany's,  
I really do believe in you,  
Let's see if you believe in me,

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing,  
A ring.  
I don't mean on the phone,  
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight,  
Hurry down the chimney tonight,  
Hurry, tonight.

[ She goes Back To Her Seat ]

Hitsuki-chan: Now wasn't that wonderful?

Byakuya: -angry- Who was she supposed to be singing about?

Hitsuki-chan: Ichigo.

[ Byakuya almost kills Ichigo in a fight and Unohana heals him ]

Yachiru: I wanna go next!

Kenpachi: Are you going to let her?

Hitsuki-chan: Of course. Yachiru will sing Toyland!

[ Presses Button and Yachiru is in a peach top and a jean skirt ]

Toyland, Toyland,  
Little girl and boy land,  
While you dwell within it,  
You are ever happy then.

Childhood's joyland,  
Mystic, merry Toyland!  
Once you pass its borders,  
You can ne'er return again.

[ Back to her seat ]

Hitsuki-chan: That was adorable!

Yachiru: Thank you!

Toushiro: ….

Momo: Lil' Shiro, your awfully quiet.

Toushiro: Sh... if we don't say anything, we won't get picked.

Momo: … Lil' Shiro...

Hitsuki-chan: -pushes Momo on Toushiro and they kiss- Mwahahaha

Ukitake: Devil in Diquise.

Shunsei: Second that.

Hitsuki-chan: I think its time for Matsumoto, Soi Fon, and Yoruichi to sing 'Here Comes Santa Claus'

[presses button, all of them are in sexy Ms. Claus dresses. Matsumoto **bold **Soi Fon regular Yoruichi _italics _all of them underlined ]

Here comes Ukitake!  
Here comes Ukitake!  
**Right down 13****th**** Squad Lane!**  
_Rukia and Kusaka and all his subnorites_  
_are pulling on the reins._  
Bells are ringing, children singing;  
All is merry and bright.  
**Hang your stockings and say your prayers,**  
'Cause Ukitake comes tonight.

-I play a little guitar-

Here comes Ukitake!  
Here comes Ukitake!  
Right down 13th Squad Lane!  
He's got a bag that is filled with toys  
for the boys and girls again.  
Hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle,  
What a beautiful sight.  
Jump in bed, cover up your head,  
'Cause Ukitake comes tonight.

[ Back at their seats ]

Matsumoto: Wooo that was fun!

Yoruichi: Second that!

Hitsuki-chan: Hm...

Nemu: What is it Hitsuki-san?

Hitsuki-chan: I can't think of anyone to sing 'Let it Snow'.

Nemu: How about... Ukitake and Shunsei?

[ She presses a button and their up there Shunsei **bold **Ukitake reugular both underlined ]

**Oh the weather outside is frightful**  
But the fire is so delightful  
And since we've no place to go  
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping  
**And I've bought some corn for popping**  
The lights are turned way down low  
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

**When we finally kiss goodnight**  
How I'll hate going out in the storm!  
But if you'll really hold me tight  
All the way home I'll be warm

The fire is slowly dying  
**And, my Nanao-chan, we're still goodbying**  
But as long as you love me so  
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

[ Button Press and Their back ]

Hitsuki-chan: Nice Nemu-chan.

Nemu: Thank you Hitsuki-san.

Momo: What now?

Hitsuki-chan: Toushiro's birthday is tommarrow so lets sing one last tune just for him!

[**Ukitake, Shunsei,**_Ichigo, Rukia_, and Renji appear on stage with Christmas-y clothing ]

**What child is this, who, laid to rest  
On Momo's lap, is sleeping?**  
_Whom angels greet with anthems sweet,  
While Captains watch are keeping?_  
This, this is Toushiro the Captain,

Whom Captains guard and angels sing:  
**Haste, haste to bring him laud,**  
Shiro-chan, the Friend of Momo!

So bring Him incense, gold, and myrrh,  
Come peasant king to own Him,  
**The Captain of Captains, salvation brings,  
Let loving hearts enthrone Him.**  
_Raise, raise the song on high,  
The Virgin sings her lullaby:_  
Joy, joy, for Toushiro is born,  
Shiro-chan, the Friend of Momo!

[ And Their back To Their Seats ]

Hitsuki-chan: That was horrible...

Toushiro: Second that.

Newu: Terrible lyrics.

Ichigo: We couldn't think of anything to fit!

Renji: Ya! Its not our fault!

Hitsuki-chan: -looks over list- Yamamoto got ran over by Shinigami?

Nemu: Sorry.

Hitsuki-chan: That will be next chapter. Lets wrap this up for one last song. Deck The Barracks!

[ Everyone Is On Stage **Captains **in gold and silver and _vice captains _in red and green ]

**Deck the Barracks with boundles of holly,**  
_Fa la la la la la, la la la la._  
**Tis the season to be jolly,**  
_Fa la la la la la, la la la la._

Now we have happiness,  
_Fa la la, la la la, la la la._  
Troll the Soul Society with or collideness,  
**Fa la la la la la, la la la la.**

See the blazing Sun before us,  
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.  
_Strike the harp and join the Chorus.  
Fa la la la la la, la la la la._

Follow me in Merry Song,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.  
While I will have you sing along,  
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

**Get rid of the old year passes,  
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.**  
_Hail the new, the lads and lasses,  
Fa la la, la la la, la la la._

Sing we joyous, all together,  
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.  
Heedless of the wind and weather,  
Fa la la la la la, la la la la.

[ Back to their seats they go ]

Hituki-chan: Hope you liked and review!

[ Candy Cane Curtains go down ]


	3. Third Act

**I disown everything!**

* * *

[ Candy Cane Curtains Rise ]

Hitsuki-chan: Hello my dear Shinigami!~

Ukitake: Happy Birthday to me!

Hitsuki-chan: Thats right. I wrote a K fanfiction of you and Toushiro. Toushro wrote a poem...

Toushiro: I d not write poetry... Nor do I blush...

Momo: Lil' Shiro, you blushed in an episode...

Ichigo: Kids these days... -FALCON PUNCH!- Ow! Toushiro!

Hitsuki-chan: You okay Ichi?

Ichigo: Ya just fi- Ichi!?

Hitsuki-chan: Ooookaaaay Rangiku-san!

Matsumoto: Yes?

Hitsuki-chan: Your going to sing with Momo, Kira, and Hisagi.

Hisagi: What song?

Hitsuki-chan: All I want for Christmas is you.

Kira: Let me guess, its about te losses of our captains and Rangiku-san's little bf...

Hitsuki-chan: Yes... -pushes button and their on stage in Christmas Clothing-

[ **Matsumoto****, **_Kira, _Hisagi, _**Momo**_ ]

**I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There's just one thing I need**  
_I don't care about the sake  
In the Bars_  
_**I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know**_  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is...  
You

_I don't want a lot for Christmas  
There's just one thing I need_  
_**I don't care about the friends  
From the Old Days...**_  
**I don't need to hang my stocking  
There upon the fireplace**  
_**Santa Claus won't make me happy  
With a toy on Christmas day**_  
I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know  
Make my wish come true  
All I want for Christmas is you  
You Gin/Taicho

I won't ask for much this Christmas  
I don't even wish for snow  
_**I'm just gonna keep on waiting  
Underneath the mistletoe**_  
**I won't make a list and send it  
To the North Pole for Saint Nick**  
_I won't even stay awake to  
Hear those magic reindeers click_  
_**'Cause I just want you here tonight  
Holding on to me so tight**_  
**What more can I do  
Gin all I want for Christmas is you**  
Ooh taicho!  
All the lights are shining  
So brightly everywhere  
_And the sound of children's  
Laughter fills the air_  
And everyone is singing  
I hear those sleigh bells ringing  
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need  
Won't you please bring my baby to me...

**Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas  
This is all I'm asking for**  
_**I just want to see my taicho  
Standing right outside my door**_  
_Oh I just want you for my own  
More than you could ever know_  
Make my wish come true  
Baby all I want for Christmas is...  
You

All I want for Christmas is you... Gin/Taicho

[ Back To Their Seats ]

Hitsuki-chan: Absolutely wonderful.

Momo: True but I love Lil' Shiro more than Aizen anyday. -covers mouth-

Toushiro: What the H, E, double hockey sticks did she just say?

Shunsei: -hangs mistletoe above them-

Ukiake: -pushes Toushiro down on Momo and a kiss is forced-

Rukia: Hopefully they won't have sex right here...

Hitsuki-chan: Yamamoto got ran over over by CRAZY Ryoka!

Ukitake: Huh?

Hitsuki-chan: Other song... Shunsei, Ukitake, Unohana, Byakuya, do the honors. -presses button and their up their in warm clothing-

[ **Ukitake, **_Shunsei, _Unohana, _**Byakuya**_ ]

_Yama-jii got ran over by Crazy Ryoka_  
_**Walking home from our Barracks Christmas eve.**_  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for us, we believe.

**He has been drinking too much sake,**  
_And we'd begged him not to go._  
But he left his medication,  
So he stumbled out the door into the snow.

**When they found him Christmas mornin',  
At the scene of the attack.**  
There were hoof prints on his forehead,  
And incriminatin' Claus marks on his back.

_**Soutaicho got ran over by Crazy Ryoka,**_  
**Walkin' home from our barracks Christmas eve.**  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for us, we believe.

_Now were all so proud of Saskibe,_  
He's been takin' this so well.  
**See him in there making tea and doing papers,**  
Drinkin' sake and playin' poker with Rangiku!

**It's not Christmas without Yamamoto.**  
All the captain's dressed in black.  
_And we just can't help but wonder:  
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?_

Head Captain got ran over by Crazy Ryoka,  
Walkin' home from our barracks Christmas eve.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for us, we believe.

**Now the ham is on the table  
And the pudding made of chocolate.**  
_**And a blue and silver candle,  
That would just have matched the hair in Yamamoto's beard.**_

I've warned all my fellow captains and vie captains.  
Better watch out for yourselves."  
They should never give a license,  
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

HEAD CAPTAIN YAMAMOTO GOT RAN OVER BY CRAZY RYOKA,  
WALKING HOME FROM OUR BARRACKS, CHRISTMAS EVE.  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for us, we believe.

[ Back in their seats ]

Mayuri: Wow, interesting.

Yachiru: That was SUPER-Awesome! But who's Santa?

Nemu: A big fat man that wears a red suit and has white hair. He has a list and checks it twice to find out if your naughty or nice. On Christmas Eve on Midnight, he sends Presents to all the good boys and girls. He rides in a sleigh with a big fat sack in the back and is pulled by... 9 reindeer I believe. Almost all kids believe in him. But theirs adults and teenagers that still believe.

Ichigo: I still believe in Santa since my sisters don't know...

Karin: Don't know what?

Toushiro: How the _hell _did you get here?

Karin: Hi Toushiro. Hi Rangiku. Kisuke Urahara. Who else? And I already know that Santa- -I cover her mouth-

Hitsuki-chan: Don't say it to make Toushiro, Momo, and Yachiru and Yuzu upset...

Karin: Okay fine. So anyway Toushiro, too bad we can't play soccor in this snow...

Ichigo: How do you know Toushiro!?

Toushiro: ITS CAPAIN HITSUGAYA!

Karin: I'll tell you later. Hitsuki-san, how about 'Santa Claus is coming to town' with Ichi-nii, Toushiro, Hinamori, Rukia, and Renji?

Hitsuki-chan: Thats a lot of people. No Toushiro and no Momo... But Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia I can do. -pushes button and he three mentioned are on stage-

[ **Renji, **_Ichigo, _in red suits, Rukia in a white dress ]

_You better watch out  
You better not cry_  
**Better not pout  
I'm telling you wh**y  
Santa Claus is coming to Seiritei

He's making a list  
And checking it twice;  
_Gonna find out Who's an angel or a devil  
_Santa Claus is coming to Seiritei

He sees you when you're sleeping  
He knows when you're awake  
**He knows if you've been bad or good  
So be good for goodness sake!**  
O! You better watch out!  
You better not cry  
_Better not pout_  
**I'm telling you why**  
Santa Claus is coming to Seiritei  
Santa Claus is coming to Seiritei

[ And Back In Their Seats ]

Toushiro: … Devil... Angel?

Hitsuki-chan: Like Yuzu and Yachiru! -gets bitten- Ow! It was a joke!

Yachiru: Couldn't help it...

Karin: Yuzu is a angel. And according to my old fart, he says I am too.

Ichigo: According to me, your half and half... You can be nice but you hurt one of your friends in the face with a soccor ball.

Karin: No... that was Toushiro.

Toushiro: Its Captain Hitsugaya!

Hitsuki-chan: Thats it... Shiro Neko is going to sing next!

Momo: Can I pick the song?

Hitsuki-chan: Absolutely!

Momo: -looking through songs- Frosty The SnowMan! But can I sing it? Lil' Shiro can sing another song...

Hitsuki-chan: Sure Momo-chan! Your one of my favorite characters but other people want you dead... because your a whiney bitch about Aizen being evil.

Momo: Thats mean... but thanks.

[ I press button and Momo is in a short sleeved white shirt with her belly button showing, a short skirt that shows her panties and high boots _Yachiru_ ]

Shiro the Captain was a hard cold soul  
With a little brush and a cute nose  
and two eyes that are coaaaal-cold  
Shiro the Captain is a kid they say  
He was made of kindness but the I  
knew how he came to be Captain one day  
There must have been some magic in that  
that school he went to  
For when he went there that time  
he raised up and became Captain!  
O  
Shiro the Captain  
was alive as he could be  
And the I say he could laugh  
and play just the same as you and me  
_Thumpetty thump thump  
thumpety thump thump_  
Look at Shiro go  
_Thumpetty thump thump  
thumpety thump thump_  
Over the hills of snow  
Shiro The Captain knew  
the sun was hot that day  
So he said  
"Lets Shunpo and Go

Before I Come Sick Today"

Down to the village  
with a Zanpakto in his hand  
Running here and there all  
around the square saying  
Catch me if you can  
He led them down the streets of Rukongai  
right to the Head Captain  
And he only paused a moment when  
he heard him holler "Stop!"  
For Shiro the Captain  
had to hurry on his way  
But he waved goodbye saying  
"Don't you cry  
I'll be back again some day"

_Thumpetty thump thump  
thumpety thump thump_  
Look at Shiro go  
_Thumpetty thump thump  
thumpety thump thump_  
Over the hills of snow!

[ Momo's Back In Her Seat ]

Hitsuki-chan: Aw~ That was sweet Momo-chan.

Momo: Thank you. But what should Lil' Shiro sing?

Ichigo: I looked over the songs and say he should sing 'Grown Up Christmas List'. But I don't imagine him singing it since he's a kid.

Hitsuki-chan: Not me either... THE SNOW MISER!

Toushiro: Kill me...

Ukitake: Whats that about?

Nemu: Snow Miser is a Mister Snow, Mister Icicle... You get the picture, he's cold...

Toushiro: No way in _hell _I'm singing that!

Hitsuki-chan: Your just embarrassed of your hot voice when you sing...

Toushiro: -blush- N-not T-true!

Hitsuki-chan: Don't try to hide it... just sing! -Presses Button and Toushiro is in a long light blue cloak with blue shoes-

[ Toushiro and _Ichigo and Renji _]

I'm Mister White Christmas  
I'm Mister Cold  
I'm Mister Mean  
I'm Mister Ten Below  
Friends call me Captain Snow  
What ever I Freeze  
Turns to Ice With My Reitsu  
I'm too much!

_He's Mister White Christmas  
He's Mister Cold_

That's right!

_He's Mister Mean  
He's Mister Ten Below  
_  
Friends call me Captain Ice,  
What ever I Freeze  
Turns to Ice With My Reitsu

_He's too much!_

I never want to see a day  
That's over sixty degrees  
I'd rather have it twenty,  
ten, five, five below and let it freeeeEEEEEEeeze!

_He's Mister White Christmas  
He's Mister Ice_

That's right!

_He's Mister Freeze-a-lot  
He's Mister Twenty Below_

Friends call me Captain Icicle,  
What ever I Freeze  
Turns to Ice with my Reitsu  
...too much.

Too Much!

[ Back in their seats ]

Hitsuki-chan: That was Terrific!

Momo: Hot voice my ass. Thats a Hot and Seductive Voice!

Ukitake: Agreed!

Hitsuki-chan: Now that wasn't so bad was it?

Toushiro: -blushing madly- I hate you...

Renji: But she's right... seductive voice... I bet fangirls had orgasims...

Random Fangirl #1: I did!

RF #2: Me too!

Renji: See?

RF 3#: I got mine from Ichigo and Renji singing! They make a nice couple!

Ichigo: What the f---?!

Toushiro: Hahahahaha Sucks For you Two!

RF #4: TOUSHI AND ICHI FTW!

RF #5: TOUSHIRO X RENJI FTW!

Ikkaku: Fan Girls Love Ya...

Hitsuki-chan: One Last Song and we're done. I'm up to 9 pages... So It will be Joy To The World... Or Should it be 12 Pains Of Christmas?

Nemu: 12 Pains...

[**Isshin, **_Kira, _**Orihime**, _Toushiro, __**Ichigo****, Rukia, **_Yachiru, {Yumichika}, ^Omaeda^, $Soi Fon$, !SWA!, -Ishida-, and all]

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
**Is finding a Christmas tree**

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
_**Rigging up the lights**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
_Hangovers_  
_**Rigging up the lights**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
_Sending Christmas cards_  
_Hangovers_  
_**Rigging up the lights**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_Sending Christmas cards_  
_Hangovers_  
_**Rigging up the lights**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
**Facing my in-laws**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!_  
_Hangovers_  
_**Rigging up these lights!**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

_The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:_  
-The Salvation Army-  
**Facing my in-laws**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_Sending Christmas cards_  
_Oh, geez!_  
_**I'm tryin' to rig up these lights!**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:  
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!  
-Charities-,  
**And whataya mean "YOUR in-laws"?!?**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_Oh, making out these cards_  
_Honey, get me a beer, huh?_  
_**What, we have no extension cords?!?**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me  
$Finding parking spaces$  
KENNY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!  
-Donations!-  
**Facing my in-laws**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_**Writing out those Christmas cards**_  
_Hangovers!_  
_**Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
{"Batteries Not Included"}  
$No parking spaces$  
BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!  
-Get a job, ya bum!-  
**Oh, facing my in-laws!**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards_  
_Oh, geez, look at this!_  
_**One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The eleventh thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
^Stale TV specials^  
{"Batteries Not Included"}  
$No parking spaces$  
BALDY, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!  
-Charities!-  
**She's a witch...I hate her!**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people!_  
_Oh, who's got the toilet paper, huh?_  
_**Get a flashlight...I blew a fuse!!**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

The twelfth thing of Christmas that's such a pain to me:  
!Singing Christmas carols!  
^Stale TV specials^  
{"Batteries Not Included"}  
$No parking?!?$  
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!  
-Charities!-  
**Gotta make 'em dinner!**  
_**Five months of bills!**_  
_I'm not sendin' them this year, that's it!_  
_Shut up, you!_  
_**FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!**_  
**And finding a Christmas tree**

[ And Back In Their Seats ]

Hitsuki-chan: Long Song but funny!

Isshin: Anger problems to Ichigo.

Ichigo: Its a song old man...

Yachiru: I think Shiro lost his voice.

Toushiro: -low cracky voice- Yep...

Momo: Lil' Shiro... Hitsuki-san, please don't make him sing anymore!

Hitsuki-chan: I won't... until his voice gets better.

Momo: Okay, thanks...

Hitsuki-chan: People Review or Toushiro's voice will never get fixed! Thank You and Good Night!

[ Christmas Tree Curtains go Down ]


End file.
